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Often times you find yourself in a place that you never thought you'd be. I never had plans to be a failure in life, taking detours and turns down roads that never were scheduled.
No, I wanted my life to be significant but the roads I chose in my attempt to get this meaningful life proved to be the blueprint for failure. My life began to spiral in a web of sexual confusion as I attempted to find myself in somebody else's arms. I started looking for love to cover up wounds from broken childhood experiences and emotional holes that were never filled. The more I searched to find love in men, the relationships only proved to be escapism to cover up the deep-rooted, layers of pain inside of me.
Nothing hurts as bad as looking in a mirror and seeing nothing. I came to the realization that I lost who I was, trying to find me. But how do you get back, how do you find ‘you' underneath all the layers? What do you do when you are so lost, that you can't find your way? I was so far gone, that God had to come and get me! My family and friends couldn't help and certainly the relationships I found myself in proved they couldn't. I was so torn on the inside, that I felt there was nothing left of me and the only way that I was ever going to get out of this mess I've gotten myself into was for God to save me from me!
I was too caught up to run to God, so He came and got me, pulled me out of my misery, the shame, the guilt and the pain and He began to fill the void that was in my life. He took what was hurting away and replaced it with Him. I mean my life took a 360, the crooked roads became straight again, and before I knew it, I looked in the mirror and finally found me. I finally found the love that I was missing.
Never confuse your past with your future! In spite of all the things I've gone through, God never gave up on me. In fact, He never used it against me, but with the adversity, the trials in life that I went through, became my testimony. He used those very things to bring me to the life He always planned for me. He took the very thing that tried to overtake me, the very mess that I put myself into, and turned it into a message! Now my life is an open book of hope to others who have gone through the test and trials of life. As a world renowned best selling author, motivational speaker, and Evangelist, my writings become an expression of God's love, His Grace, and His Forgiveness. It documents that yes, I went through it, but my adversity, my test didn't end there, but because of God, it became my testimony!
And from one Survivor to Another, "Going through proves that you are not stuck there! But trust that God will bring you out of that situation with a testimony, and with boxed shoulders, you'll, too, pull your head back and say, I Survived It!" -- Publisher
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